None of my children play the violin, because I do. I don’t want my kids to feel an expectation to ‘be like mom.’
My kids each have their own musical instrument that allows them to shine, to thrive, and to be their own musician. Granted, because I play a string instrument and all of my kids play string instruments, I can optimize the help I give them…but they need their own sense of musical identity separate from me.
All of my life, I thought I would have a child play the violin. I dreamed of playing duets together and passing on such a time honed skill. I especially hoped I would have a daughter play the violin alongside me…such that, when my daughter was born, I instinctively started inspecting her little fingers pads to see if they were fit for a violinist!
However, I knew that if she were to play the violin, my expectations for her might be unrealistically high. So, we chose to enroll her in Suzuki harp lessons. The harp has been a fabulous fit for her–and me! I know enough about Suzuki music to help her, but little enough about harp technique to keep my expectations reasonable.
Turns out, that, with several different string instrumentalists, lots of people predict we will have a string quartet someday. Maybe. But there won’t be a first and second violin in that quartet…I plan to let my kids shine on their own parts!